Random Before AD Thoughts

As Abu Dhabi time is 13 hours ahead, I find myself calculating when the work day will begin for the people on the other end whom are hopefully expediting my Visa application and arranging my eticket as I type.  Since their workday occurs in the midst of our night, I find myself awake (on the blow-up mattress in the kitchen nook/living room of the coach, mind you) checking my email essentially all night long.  It is at these quiet times, when everyone else - including the dog - is sound asleep, that I wonder and worry about the oddest things.  So odd, indeed, that my need for a cathartic release (or, actually, a release of any kind at this point!) has trumped any desire I might otherwise have to put up a front of relative ease and togetherness.

Random Before AD Thoughts
1. Will some poppy seed land on my luggage in some connecting airport causing the UAE police dogs to smell opiates on my person and put me in jail? (random, but happened to a British traveler when poppy seeds from a bagel that he ate while at Heathrow airport landed on his laptop case)
2.  How many people might I unknowingly offend by crossing my legs when I sit? (we have been instructed to sit with our feet planted on the ground as it is offensive for the sole of your shoe to be showing to another person)
3.  Will I ever be able to eat with just my right hand?  If we can only eat with our right hand, how are we supposed to cut our meat?  Perhaps, the rule only applies to eating with your hands??? (As eating and especially eating meat is near and dear to my heart, I really must look into this one).
4.  Will I connect with the twelfth grade girls of Abu Dhabi?  (At least I'll never have to worry about or spend instructional time sending a girl to the office due to a dress code violation like wearing a short skirt, a skimpy tank top, or an offensive t-shirt as they will all be in burkas).
5.  Do they sell Diet Mountain Dew over there?
6.  Will I ever see One Life to Live and General Hospital again?  (Sad, yes, but in all honesty, I do worry about this.  I need at least a fix of such mind-numbing television once every six months in order to keep abreast of my peeps).
7.  If I feel like I'm melting when it hits 105 degrees, how am I going to handle 115 plus degree heat?  If it is this hot outside, will I ever be able to keep my make-up on or am I going to be sweating like a pig (poor choice of metaphor...pigs are off limits too) as I do when I'm down in Mexico?
8.  Will I remember to refrain from hugging colleagues and giving students pats on the back, etc.? (In the UAE, such gestures are not done and are considered offensive).  I can just see myself now: extending gestures in which I believe are endearing when all the while, I'm offending colleagues and superiors left and right!!!
9. Do camels really spit?  Can you actually bet on the camels at the camel races?  And, if so, is the betting similar to the track here?  If so, I'm all over the 20 dirham quinella box!!!
10.   If I choose to read Kathy Griffin's autobiography on the plane ride over to the UAE, will it be confiscated upon arrival due to its content?

If you're still reading, by now you have a glimpse into how this waiting has evolved into not just a holding pattern, but a full-fledged neuroses of sorts.  I think I have a long way to go before I master the art of schway, schway.  Nonetheless, I do look forward to finding out the answers to the random questions as well as to the more substantive ones that I have in the daylight hours!!!

Well, must run...have email to check...

Sleep well, my friends!!!